remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
