Got a toothbrush?
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
