Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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