don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
