does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
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