If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Apparently you make a good broom.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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