did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
