It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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