I wish I could punch you in the face.
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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