i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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