Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I just blew my weed a kiss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
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