ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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