Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
