saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Randomize
