So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize