What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
