i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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