I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
