just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Randomize
