Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
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