If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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