there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize
