Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
