I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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