If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
