I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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