Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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