i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
