I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Randomize
