mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
