There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
