We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
tell me about the eggs
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