True but thats because hes a fetus.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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