And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
