jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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