best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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