I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
