One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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