i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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