chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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