my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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