she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
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i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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