watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
