I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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