So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
