I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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