your room smells of hookers.
And success
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
