everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
