Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
