Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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