belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Soap is not a condiment
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
