We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
