Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
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I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
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I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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