So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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