It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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