how do flat chested girls get laid?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
