I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
