ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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