I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
